Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.

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(678): Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting. http://tfl.nu/d568

Replies (14) Good night (3296) Bad night (729)
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(936): View more from Texas

im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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(936): im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses... http://tfl.nu/w5rv

Replies (6) Good night (3779) Bad night (1027)
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(863): View more from Florida

If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.

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(863): If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat. http://tfl.nu/9rvo

Replies (21) Good night (985) Bad night (3697)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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(480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp

Replies (50) Good night (3736) Bad night (5517)
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(256): View more from Alabama

just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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(256): just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level http://tfl.nu/5gsk

Replies (8) Good night (2981) Bad night (1061)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.

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(920): Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/t9h7

Replies (9) Good night (2288) Bad night (855)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

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(250): I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you. http://tfl.nu/i94o

Replies (6) Good night (1896) Bad night (1296)
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(281): View more from Texas

Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.

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(281): Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his. (832): I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/5mgo

Replies (3) Good night (1670) Bad night (716)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"

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(720): I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned" http://tfl.nu/ppef

Replies (4) Good night (1332) Bad night (778)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.

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(414): yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour. http://tfl.nu/t1tz

Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (475)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?

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(208): Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow? http://tfl.nu/sft8

Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (391)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt

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(757): I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt http://tfl.nu/qfiy

Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (366)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!

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(513): Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton! http://tfl.nu/r6h6

Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (431)
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(443): View more from Maryland

THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS

(1-443): View more from Maryland

excuse me?

(443): View more from Maryland

I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.

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(443): THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS (1-443): excuse me? (443): I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car. http://tfl.nu/t356

Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (448)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....

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(248): I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him.... http://tfl.nu/0ivu

Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (438)

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