Umm I'm too high to move.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?