she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner