We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
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How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
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hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect