if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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