My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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