No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
