I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
