its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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