If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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