I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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