My sheets look like a crime scene.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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