Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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