It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
