question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
