So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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