There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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