Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
how does that bad decision feel?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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