another moral hangover. fuck.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
