i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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