sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
