What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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