shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
