My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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