3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
should my penis look like a turkey
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
