He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
