is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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