"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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