Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
