I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
