Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
