My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
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Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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