I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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