If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
