I heard we made out
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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