Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
