Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
