no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
