meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
so much tequila, so little girl.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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