I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize