problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
