so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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