Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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