It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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