hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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