I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
