I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
