i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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