he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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