So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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