dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
