we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
