i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
