are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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