I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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