Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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