PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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