I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
