Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
