i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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