Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
