i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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