Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
