Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
