Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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