haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
