We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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