Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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