i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
