nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Come share oat with me in your robe
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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