if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner