Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off

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(914): View more from New York

you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say

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