arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.