Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was