Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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