Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.

  (207): View more from Maine

  sorry im really high

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  (207): You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage. (207): sorry im really high http://tfl.nu/3k8n
  Replies (11) Good night (1093) Bad night (1682)
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  (951): View more from California

  I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

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  (951): I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on. http://tfl.nu/klvy
  Replies (32) Good night (756) Bad night (4779)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.

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  (517): dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it. http://tfl.nu/4nb9
  Replies (19) Good night (1802) Bad night (4334)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline

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  (615): Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline http://tfl.nu/p67r
  Replies (6) Good night (5531) Bad night (2048)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.

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  (613): I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's. http://tfl.nu/yr3w
  Replies (11) Good night (1081) Bad night (4363)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body

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  (281): I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body http://tfl.nu/esoz
  Replies (17) Good night (3389) Bad night (1025)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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  (508): I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.' http://tfl.nu/78ru
  Replies (7) Good night (2422) Bad night (1045)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated

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  (860): Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated http://tfl.nu/83mz
  Replies (7) Good night (2155) Bad night (1785)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars

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  (307): We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars http://tfl.nu/sm85
  Replies (11) Good night (1565) Bad night (989)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm so sick

  (323): View more from California

  I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.

  (310): View more from California

  That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..

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  (310): I'm so sick (323): I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night. (310): That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy.. http://tfl.nu/0aa2
  Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (1758)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.

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  (605): Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer. http://tfl.nu/o6i1
  Replies (2) Good night (1313) Bad night (497)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?

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  (570): Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear? http://tfl.nu/z5ck
  Replies (4) Good night (1043) Bad night (428)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.

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  (720): His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home. (1-720): I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/5b3q
  Replies (23) Good night (1764) Bad night (606)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them

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  (513): well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them http://tfl.nu/2ptj
  Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (667)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The paramedics were not my fault this time.

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  (832): The paramedics were not my fault this time. http://tfl.nu/w1jf
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (291)

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