I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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