Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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